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Torch Songs

by Andrew Kirell

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1.
I want to run, but I don't know where to All signs, they lead back to you Sometimes the soul's split in two Don't ask why the world is askew Well I guess nothing, oh nothing's gonna change how I'll Ramble forever Red wine, but my heart's black and blue Your knives cut right on through Outside, the lovers run true But I'll try to catch up to you Well I guess nothing, no nothing's gonna change how I'll Ramble forever Don't want to go, don't want to stay But my mind's running away Ramble forever
2.
I was lost near a crooked river Couldn't find or see the road And I will do this forever Someone help me with my load There were times I felt like crying Other times I'd scream and curse At all times I felt the dying And the weight is just the worst Face is pale, palms are sweaty Singing "Teach your children well" But it offers me no rescue I just might fall straight to hell You can run from the devil You can hide from your mind But you can't run forever Cross your heart and hope to die I'm still lost near that crooked river I won't find or see the road And I will do this forever No one help me with my load
3.
When the blues of the nighttime call All of your nightmares fade into the dawn You wish for your mother to come into your room But she won't be there, so daydream away When the blues of the nighttime call Dreams of your lovers tug at your heart You wish to go back there, to start it all anew But you can't do that, so daydream away If only I could be there On the day when she was born If only I could be there Give her shelter from the storm When the blues of the nighttime call All of your nightmares take hold You wish you can be there, in your childhood room But you're the big man now, so daydream away
4.
For a While 03:53
When you shut your eyes And think about that night Do you miss the wine? Or how we burned like fire? Dancing ‘neath the lights We’re silent, you and me All eyes fixed on us Forgot this wreck was me Don’t leave me here The moment’s both of ours Can we live here for a while? The night is young and we’re Smiling ear to ear Can we live here for a while? At your beck and call For you I’d do what’s right Like snow before the fall, You’re all dressed in white The man in me is proud That grey was not my mood Remembering is a fight Because it was gone too soon
5.
Broken Man 04:27
She always finds imperfections In the things she loves Well I may not be perfect But I love all of the things that she does Now I understand I'm not a lot of things More a beat-up old Buick than a diamond ring And I don't wanna be a broken man There were the years I was beholden To the chains in my mind In a padlocked cell I was surrounded by the rot and the grime Well the windows were shuttered And I was frozen in time I locked myself out from a world outside And said I don't wanna be a broken man I watch her sleep on the mattress Where we've made our love And I think of the times that I was reckless And I acted above I stare into the dark So I can hear her sing In her dreams she's a legend with the world on a string I don't wanna be a broken man Got drunk one night, had a fight With the demons in my head They tell me I ain't perfect And I'm a liar, I'd be better off dead. Well the voices are tough and they're gripping me tight Existential crisis on a Saturday night I said I don't wanna be a broken man Spent so much time Getting high off the pain like a drug Got a man on my right Saying heaven is a race and a gun Well there ain't no place For the man whose faults Are the guiding light and not a burden to haul I said I don't wanna be a broken man
6.
On My Own 03:55
I walked through a valley I traveled the land I saw across that river A hill tall and grand I swam across the river I climbed through the mid When I arrived on that hilltop I stood on my own Alone I dreamt I was walking Through my grandmother's home I saw my whole family Even ones I didn't know I sang for the old ones I laughed with the young When I awoke, I was older And still on my own Alone
7.
I saw the hands, the hands of time Hold me back tie me down They put those fears into my head That all is lost and time prevails I saw the sand in the hourglass Pouring down, it taunted me When I awoke behind the wheel I put my fate into my hands And so we won’t take our last breath I will not start again I will not let this die I drove all night to be alone with you I heard a song played by a band Her chords were mine, but where was I? Standing off onto the side Watching my words pass me by I took the sign as my mind Asking me “Why not I?” When I awoke behind the wheel I took my fate into my hands So we won’t take our last breath I will not start again I will not let this die I drove all night to be alone with you I was lost on the highway Tires spin in the rain Out of control, but I ain’t losing heart And all I can see is my headlight’s glare But I know you’re out there in the dark But we won’t take our last breath I will not start again I will not let this die I drove all night to be alone with you
8.
When I was alone, my sweetheart arrived Tolling of the bells of pride There among a pasture, surrounded by wolves You, the only lamb in sight I was only grateful you’d stay by my side Chosen are the few who’d fight Though I’ll never say it, I’d surely survive When you are the one holding light So carry the torch Until the end All my days rise and fall Til I see you again Carry the torch Until the end Run away from despair Hand in hand Carry the torch Until the end All my days rise and fall Til I see you again

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released August 18, 2023

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Andrew Kirell Brooklyn, New York

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